Malarkey

the goofy amongst us...

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The 27th cometh for the last of a 1000 times

Ever since my trusty Newton program was cancelled by the just-returned Steve Jobs, people have been speculating about a new Apple Tablet. What they mean to say is that mouse-based computing was then beginning to suck. So will does Jan 27th mean to computing? Let’s prognosticate!

I think we can all agree - we’ve all had about enough of the Apple Tablet vapor/rumor-mill over the years. In some ways, I’m too nervous to even contemplate what the experience will be like on one. My experience with Sony smartphones never prepared me for an iPhone life; no-one saw it coming. It was new, fresh, a complete rethink of the phone experience, and while it’s not perfect, it’s a damn better world because of the iPhone.

I say that because people today poo-poo the Mac and it’s graphic interface, and there are generations living now that have no idea what it’s like to boot up a tape-drive and wait 5 minutes for a text adventure to start. And rightly so: these were neanderthal systems and the more advanced graphic systems left this branch of early hominid-interface far, far behind. You have to know where you came from to appreciate where you’re going.

For years, there was a constant howling about what the next steps should be. I genuinely missed my Newton (I still have one, a 2100, sitting on a shelf - near pristine and unused) but the downsides were too much to bear in this connected world. For years, at every coming of a MacWorld, the whispers that a new “tablet was coming” drove bloggers into a delicious madness.

Such speculation considered the Tablet to be a small, light Mac. With Apple’s current success, desires morphed it into a big iPhone. Big iPhone = Dumb Tablet, at least to me. The core of the iPhone’s success is it’s ability to move small bits of information to and from you - a photo, a video, a web page, a tweet. Small screen, small consumption.

Enter the Apple Invite for the 27th of January 2010:

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Looks like whatever it is, it’s primarily a creative device. The Zapruderization of the invitation has already fueled another day’s speciousness and speculation. The truth is, as we always already know, not to be found on webpages anywhere. This is the age of the news we want, not the news we need.

I know nothing other than what I’ve experienced with the iPhone (v1 & v3), my Newton, a decade of experience with Macs and my desire for a Star Trek slate handed to me by a pretty yeoman. But since blogs are a suckers game…I’m in.

What I’d like to think is this:

  • It’ll have a new interface on a stable file system: It’s not going to be a big iPhone or a Half-Mac. It’s going to involve the immediacy you find in an iPhone and the depth of a real creative device. I can’t imagine a creative tool without a descending filing system, even with tags, too many visual clues would overwhelm selection, so I’d also expect the iPhone to upgrade its flat UI very soon too
  • Hardware: The card shows a thin, round-edged border, so there’s a good likelihood when closed that the Tablet will be similar in feel to a big phone; which is to say, very ergonomic. I have faith in Apple in this regard - say what you want about any of their products, they feel good to the touch.
  • I’m going to guess it’ll not have a removable battery but a moulded one like all their other products - we’re beyond throw-away batteries.
  • Yes, it’ll be wireless - it has to be these days. Will it be 3G? Only if there’s a way to have 2 devices on the same number, but without that I doubt Apple would niche the system by making you get a second phone account. With AT&T. Think about that a second and you’ll know I’m right.
  • The paint splatters everywhere give the impression of color, texture and density. Were I a betting man (and we know from past history it’s best I don’t) I would worry if I owned Wacom and PainterX stock. Possibly Adobe should worry too - this could be the cornerstone of an attack on the Creative Suite that could work if the apps were sold cheaply enough. You’d need the Tablet to use them; a reverse of the “Razor and Blades” theory, sure, but there’s plenty of other blades in the App Store, and it’s a way to get even with Adobe for the crap that CS4 and especially Flash have become.

    • But that’s all I can guess at, given what we all know; anything more is a mugs game. I’ve got the credit card warmed-up and parked in the garage, raring to go. I’ll let you know what happens to my bank balance in a bit over a week..

    Posted by Admin on 01/19 at 10:07 AM
    Posted in: Gadgetry   IT notes   Malarkey   Project 52  
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    Saturday, October 17, 2009

    Hell freezes over

    If possibly only to shut me up (yeah, right) Strider Software has finally released Typestyler for OS X.

    What is that - 8-9 years? Does anyone have a workflow that can use this still?

    Okay - sour grapes on my part, but at least they finally released something. I will reserve judgement until read real stories of people relying upon it for work, but congratulations to the group there in getting it out.

    So what do I moan about now?

    Posted by Admin on 10/17 at 12:19 AM
    Posted in: IT notes   Malarkey  
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    Wednesday, February 11, 2009

    THIS is why you’re fat

    Amazing micro photo website with some of the most disgusting fast-food you’ve ever seen.

    Witness this: The Double Bacon Hamburger Fatty Melt

    image

    Three bacon-stuffed grilled cheese sandwichs for buns, cheese, bacon and two four-ounce beefs patties.

    I only just wrote that and now I need to go spinning…

    Posted by Admin on 02/11 at 03:23 PM
    Posted in: Idle Chatter   Malarkey  
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    Thursday, December 25, 2008

    It might mean more if his chair came from Ikea…

    “Pope decries selfishness in economic crisis”- Yahoo

    image

    Hmmm…context is a bitch, ain’t it?

    (Looks like they changed the article title and the photo - next time, screencap)

    Posted by Admin on 12/25 at 06:19 PM
    Posted in: Malarkey  
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    Tuesday, November 11, 2008

    iPhone: Matchin’ color like it’s 1999….

    Perhaps the UGLIEST iPhone app website to date….and it sells a color designer.

    image

    Okay - I’m a designer and I’m picky (although you can’t tell from the dumping ground this blog has become. Still…).

    There’s nothing to prepare you for the 8-bit color flashback that is the Raisix Inc website, set up to sell its ColorMatch software for iPhone. (Click either link - it’s a 1-page site)

    With all the aplomb of a ‘90s Powerpoint slide, it just dumps itself to your screen, as if sent by a color fax minion from Hell.

    Enjoy - I’ve linked a 24-bit PNG screenshot (440k or so) to the thumbnail above, just so there’s no question that I’m messin’ with the site:

    THRILL to the derring-do of creating a website with a 16-color pallet!
    AWE yourself to the crispy masking techniques and the ever-so-tactile moire!
    AMAZE your other designer friends! They’ll LOVE you for it!

    Both cliqcliq Colors and Color Expert must be quaking in their boots!

    Posted by Admin on 11/11 at 02:32 PM
    Posted in: Gadgetry   IT notes   Malarkey  
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